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Self-Care is not Selfish

~ Maria Cifuentes

Recently, I had the pleasure of attending and inviting guests along to a leadership masterclass presented by Rohan Dredge.


Rohan holds a BA. Dip Ed and a Masters of Educational Psychology and obsesses about helping clients find new solutions to the big imposing and present problems. He is the committed coach on the sidelines of playing and experiencing every moment of the work of his clients, as they progress towards success and significance.


For over twenty years Rohan has developed leaders, cultures and tribes that work at deep levels of connection and strong levels of execution. Rohan is the Executive Mentor people turn to when strategic execution is the priority and the solution isn’t readily visible. Rohan is ‘mode flexible’ and can speak, train, coach mentor and facilitate groups through to bespoke solutions to specific problems and tailor-made pathways for unique strategic plans.


The topic of this particular Masterclass was “Transforming team communication. How to lead and influence anyone in any position at work”.


It was an amazing morning and feedback from participants was overwhelmingly positive with everyone agreeing that it was a fabulous and motivating way to start the day with some great take-aways and valuable ‘aha’ moments.


Here we share some other great insight that Rohan offers in relation to self-care and this exert in particular, its’ impact on your career.

"In a recent conversation with a very competent client she mentioned her time off and what a joy it was, only to follow it up with “It was a bit selfish….

No, it wasn’t. It was really really, really smart.


Self-care is NOT selfish. And on the whole, I’m questioning how good we are at self-care at all.


Corporate life can become a series of competing and conflicting demands. Time spent in meetings, responding to emails, managing up, managing down, winning work, delivering work, leveraging the career…


One way of thinking about self-care is that it is the combination of awareness and action. As in, we know what’s going on with ourselves and circumstances and we have the resources to do something about it.

  • When you have low awareness and low action you are in burnout. Intervention is required.

  • When you have low awareness and high action you are in fatigue. Rest is required.

  • When you have low action and high awareness you are stagnant. Change is required.

  • When you have high awareness and high action you are resilient. Discipline is required.

We were not designed to work all the time, nor are we designed to play all the time. We are designed to reach our maximum potential and serve others to the best of our ability. The key is self-care. Self-care is NOT selfish.


In practice, the following five steps will help your self- care more effectively so that you can contribute more intentionally.


ONE Know yourself in order to lead yourself.


Self leadership is the first step to leadership and self-awareness. The more you know how your nature, nurture and choices have shaped and influenced your life to date, the better you can realistically place yourself in both the present narrative and the future you’d like to participate in.


For example, I am passionate about ideas, progress and making things happen. I am terrible at follow through, details and overly sensitive to criticism (First voice connectors are prime to this, I know it but it doesn’t mean I like it. The more I know myself the better placed I am to get the right help to lead myself.


TWO Get the best help to make the most sense of your reality.


Mentors, supervision, assessments, friends, professionals, they all help you make sense of the puzzle called you. As you develop, grow and mature in life, getting the best help possible is your finest gift to the future.


When you have a clear beginning point and an aspirational end point you can take the first step to becoming the best version of you. Use ‘all the brains you have got as well as all the brains you can borrow.’


THREE Place yourself in the quadrant and be willing to change.


Are you leaning towards burnout? Are you more fatigued than expected? Do you have a sense of the wheels spinning?


The beginning point of any journey is being able to accurately locate yourself. Know where you are and who you are being in that moment. You can then measure off where you’d like to be. Be ruthlessly honest here and listen to the feedback of the ones you love and respect the most. An accurate starting point will give you the best picture of what to do in order to move forward.


FOUR Spend the next ninety days saying no.


No is your secret sauce after you’ve said yes. When you know what you need to move towards you must become absolutely forensic in what might distract you from that journey. It’s in the no you find the gaps in your disciplines, your systems, your contentment and your habits. This is critical to true and lasting transformation.


Say no to anything and everything that takes away from you preferred future. The margin you’ll create is beyond incredible and margin creates peace.


FIVE Make progress your goal and not perfection.


One of the most significant things I do with and for my clients in our deep leadership work is pointing out for them the progress they have made and the significance of that work.


I’m convinced we don’t spend enough time telling people how good they are. We need to get so much better at pointing out contribution, greatness, service, things that make a difference, and the impact it makes.


Be immediate. Be specific. Be personal.


When you see your progress two things happen. Firstly, you have a sense of achievement and that in and of itself creates momentum. Secondly you are reminded that you can actually do it and do it well. At least well enough to make this much progress, so why not make that little bit more?


Your best gift to the world is a whole version of you. The more we do that the better we do life and leadership. "

For more articles like this, go to https://www.rohandredge.com


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